It was clear from the moment I first saw him that he was a master in the saddle. I had no idea who he was, but I knew he knew his stuff. I was mesmerised by his hands, by the way he sat, by the effortlessness of his movements. All the directions my riding instructor had been giving me suddenly made sense. This is what it should look like!

The horse he was riding was a beautiful beast, majestic and spirited. They turned the corner of the arena, sauntered casually up to the fence and jumped the six foot pole as easily as if it was lying on the ground.

It is obvious when you think about it. A show jumper of Eddie’s stature needs a horse that matches him. Eddie would have been bored to tears in a minute with the gentle mare I ride. She suits me perfectly. But then, I couldn’t have held his stallion for a moment.

Not so obvious though, when you think about clients for a therapy practice. How much space do you give to idea that you have more influence over the clients you work with than you think? A practitioner told me recently that “We get the clients we deserve,” and I’ve often heard the variation of that, “We get the clients we need.” Underlying these sentiments seems to be a belief that we have to take what comes along, because we have to learn the lesson they bring.

Fair enough.

And what if the lesson is that sometimes they aren’t a good fit for me?

In recent years I’ve started to get clearer about the clients I like to work with. Initially, I was embarrassed to admit that I liked some clients more than others, or that I liked working with some issues more than others. I thought that I should work with everyone who needed help. And there are lots of people who need help. But I may not be the best person to give it.

One of the big advantages of being self-employed is that I get to choose what works best for me. And one of the big advantages of getting clearer about the ideal clients for me is that I enjoy the work so much more. By allowing myself the space to choose who I work with, and to refer on those that don’t fit to someone who is more suitable for them, gives me a greater sense of ownership over my practice, leaving me free to be fully present to the work.