I recently had to complete my application to renew accreditation. It’s a tedious task, filling out all the details, gathering all of the information, the CPD certs, the client hours and so on. I am a member of three professional bodies, so this is a task I have to perform fairly regularly.
As you do when you’re in this sort of work, I’ve noticed a pattern.

The steps…

Step 1: I see the notification, and part of me groans, “Oh no, here we go again. Can it really have come around so soon?” I put it away for a week or two.
Step 2: Something reminds me I am running out of time. I start the gathering process. First, I go back through my diaries and start to make notes. Next, I retrieve the CPD log I started so diligently this time last year. Unfortunately, my resolve didn’t carry me further than the first month or two, when I forgot all about it.
Step 3: I panic. What if I don’t have enough hours? I’m sure I don’t have all the certs. And I have done some training that isn’t going to be recognised. How am I going to co-ordinate the signing of forms by my supervisor? It is all very overwhelming.

Step 4: I wake up in the middle of the night with an inspiration. I don’t need all the certificates. Even if some of my training is not recognised, I have more than enough hours, because I always have more than enough hours. I am making this far more complicated than it needs to be.
Step 5: I get up. Stepping neatly over the perfectionist who tells me I’m not following her rules, I fill out the forms with the trainings for which I have certs. (Yes, of course I have enough hours!) I copy what I need to copy and get it in the post to my supervisor in less than an hour.
Step 6: I sit back and wonder why I always forget that I go around this long track. If I could just remember, I could save myself time and worry.

Here’s the thing…

I do forget. I do panic. And I do go down the rabbit hole that is Step 3. Every time. I can’t remember that I have successfully applied, reapplied and been granted many accreditations in the past.

A Course in Miracles tells us, “Perception is learned, selective, unstable and inaccurate.” As a child, I learned the world was a scary place, where I had to anticipate trouble, so my perception is learned. It is selective because I neglect to include the evidence of my past applications. It is unstable because a week later I will have changed my mind. And it is inaccurate because it does not include all the relevant information about my CPD activities over the last year. But at Step 3, my perception for all its lies, is also my truth, and I am suckered by it every time! Dammit!!

Can you relate?

What perceptions are you holding about yourself and your practice? Where are you allowing a “learned, selective, unstable and inaccurate” perception of yourself, your clients, your practice and the world to keep you stuck in a fearful place? Maybe you tell yourself you’re not good enough, or that there are no paying clients, or that you’re too old to learn something about IT.
Would a second pair of eyes help you past your blind spots? Contact me here to see if I can help.