Often the challenge for therapists around what needs to be done to create the practice they want is not a lack of information. It’s not that people don’t know what to do. In truth, if you want to find out how to do pretty much anything, Google will give you the answer. In this high tech, instant access culture, there is no shortage of information about how to do anything. (There are also several books with just that title!) 

So what is it that gets in the way? Well as therapists, we also know the answer to that. It’s the internal game. What’s going on inside us dictates what actions we are willing to take, the attitude with which we meet those tasks, and how we feel about doing them. When we are unaware of what is going on inside us, we can sabotage and undermine our own efforts. Even when we are aware of our inner experiences, we can get tangled in what’s going on inside, so that we can become lost in indecision, in lack of focus, or in yo-yoing backwards and forwards from one direction to another.

In setting out to create a therapy practice that meets our needs and expectations, one useful skill is creating sufficient support within ourselves for what we want to achieve. In other words, lining up the inside story with the outside one. I like to think of a digger with a long arm and a bucket or fork on the end. In order to extend the arm of the digger, there has to be sufficient weight and balance in the base to support the arm as it extends. In order to do what needs to be done to create the practice we would like to have (and stretching out our arm in the process), we have to have sufficient internal support (weight and balance at the base.)

We’ve all the seen the results of not having sufficient support when doing something new. We try it once, and then tell ourselves it’s not working. Or we engage with it half-heartedly so it’s not effective. Or we start out well and then sabotage ourselves in some way. Or we find something else to turn our attention to.

We can get support from others, of course, but when the internal support isn’t there, we can unconsciously push away the support that might be there from others, by not allowing ourselves to see or receive it.

So, how do we create internal support? How do we get our thoughts and feelings and fears and beliefs on side with the actions?

Here are some thoughts.

1. Get clear about your goal or purpose. Often we are holding conflicting goals or objectives. This means that we can find taking appropriate actions difficult because an action that supports one objective undermines another. A typical way this shows up is where an objective to earn a living from a therapy practice is undermined by an objective to help those in pain. A therapist who needs to get more income from their practice, may find themselves taking on clients who cannot afford to pay. When we get clear about this, we can find ways in which both objectives can be met, in whole or in part.
2. Define your own boundaries or limits. Boundaries help to create support, internally and externally, whether we’re talking about the therapy process or any other aspect of our lives. Using the example in the previous paragraph, a therapist who struggles with saying no to working with clients who cannot pay, can create internal support for themselves, by setting limits, such as setting a minimum fee rate, or deciding on a fixed number of reduced cost places.
3. Honour your commitments to yourself. Going back on your word undermines trust. Most people are conscious of honouring their commitments to other people, but what about the commitments to yourself? Resolutions to change can get pushed aside more easily, particularly in the face of the pressing needs of others. If this is something you find yourself doing, it might be useful to buy yourself some time before you commit to anything, to check whether you really are going to go through with it. Ask for time to think it over before you say “Yes.”
4. Build slowly and don’t bite off more than you can chew. This follows from the previous point. A common mistake of people setting out to create a practice is to rush into a whole clatter of activity and then stop. In some ways sporadic action is worse than no action. At least with no action, you won’t be expecting results! If your practice is going to fly, it will need you to be tending to it regularly, so don’t set yourself up to fail. Take one step at a time, and allow it to integrate into your work life before moving on to the next.
5. Don’t take the action if you don’t feel ready. There is a balance between stretching yourself to learn and grow, and reaching so far you run the risk of falling over. Think of the digger I mentioned earlier or a ladder attached to a fire appliance. It needs to be well weighted and grounded before the ladder will extend safely. The same applies to taking action. There needs to be enough internal support in you before you take action for it to be effective. Forcing yourself through your feelings generally just creates more resistance, which will show up later as more sabotage. Find a way to bring yourself into alignment with the action you need to take before you take it.
6. Allow others to help you. There is support out there. Other people have done what you want to do, and most people are glad to be asked.

If you struggle with finding the support inside yourself to do what you need to do to take your practice forward, I’d be glad to help. Please contact me here for your free 20 minute consultation, or to make an appointment.