The Old Stories Are Still The Best…


Remember those bedtime stories you loved as a child? Remember how they made you feel warm and comfortable inside, as you knew every word and every twist and turn of the story? Remember how, even though you knew it was coming, even though you knew it was only a story, you still felt the start of fright at Grandmother’s teeth, “all the better to eat you with,” or the giant saying, “I’ll grind his bones to make my bread.”

Ah, the old ones are still the best!My beautiful picture

I was reminded of this during the week, when I was triggered, and I mean really triggered. I found myself back telling one of those old stories again. Maybe you’ve heard it? It was the one about how someone did something bad, and they did it to me, because everyone has always done those awful things to me…Get the picture?

My mother has a saying that I love, “Don’t let the truth get in the way of a good story.” Trouble is, at the moment I get catapulted back there, the story is the truth, my truth, and I cling to it like a drowning person to a life raft.

I can get cross with the part of me that clings on to the old stories. I know it doesn’t serve me. And every time I do it, I get in the way of something I want to do now, something good, something fun, something useful or something nice. But like an old pair of shoes that I can’t bear to part with, I keep being drawn back to the same old, same old.

Maybe you’re wondering what all this might have to do with running a therapy practice? Well, revisiting old habits that no longer serve me clearly has relevance for my practice. The old stories are a convenient distraction from doing the things I could be doing, like marketing my practice, doing my bookkeeping or looking after myself. In short, giving time and attention to those old stories keeps me away from things that could make me wealthier, healthier, happier or more organised.

If you can relate to this, be clear, this is not an invitation to beat up on ourselves. It is purely an invitation to ask myself right now, how is focussing on this serving me today, and is it really what I want to spend my time and energy on? If the answer to that is no, perhaps, like me, you might want to choose to focus on something else.

So I’m going to share with you some of my favourite stories. Maybe you can relate to them, and maybe not. Maybe you’ll have some of your own.

The first one is I’m not good enough. You may also know it as I’m a bad…(fill in the blank: therapist, wife, mother, daughter etc), or I have nothing to offer.

Or what about There won’t be enough to go around, or There’s a recession, or No one has money to pay for therapy.

Or another favourite is Someone must be to blame, sometimes known as The government (or the HSE, IACP or IAHIP) should…, or It’s not my fault, or If only they were different.

Perhaps you’d prefer I’ll be judged, which also goes by the title I’ll be rejected, or They won’t like me.

And finally, a real beauty, I have to do it all alone, which you may also know as I have to work so hard, or No one understands how much I suffer, or even My needs aren’t as important as those of others.

old shoesI say all this a bit tongue in cheek, because, deep down I’m really grateful to my stories. Like those old shoes they served a purpose at the time, and served their purpose well. But like those old shoes, they no longer provide what I need. They will always hold a fond place in my heart, and I may well revisit them in the future, but for now, perhaps it’s time to tell a new story…one of plenty and abundance, one of co-operation and support, and one of worthiness and deserving.

If you have an old story you find it hard to let go of, that’s getting between you and the practice you’d like to have, maybe I can help you? If you’re unsure about how I could help you with your practice, I offer a free 20 minute consultation. Please contact me here.