The Moving Stupids


The team of therapists I work with in Naas recently moved to new premises at the Osprey Business Centre. It’s an exciting move for us.butterfly As with any transition, there’s a period of letting go of the old and finding my feet in the new. I have decided to leave behind some of the bits and pieces that had been in my room for years. I am grateful to them for the familiarity and comfort they brought in my old workplace, but they don’t feel like they belong in my new one. I have some new chairs, some new pictures and a new plant.

As I adjust to my new surroundings, I am still experiencing what Joan Sotkin[1] calls “The Moving Stupids.” You know the way you turn right when you should turn left, or look for the light switch where it used to be. When you trip over something that isn’t there or bump into the wall because there used to be a door there in the old space! Like the butterfly newly emerged from its chrysalis, it takes time to adapt to the change of form. I am greeting these signs as positive ones, as I acclimatise to my new home.

When we make any changes in our life, we experience the moving stupids. As we shed an old familiar pattern, a new one not yet established, feelings can emerge that can take us unawares. How we interpret them is important. We can see them as signs that something is changing, that we are changing, and that we need to support ourselves in our discomfort until the new normal is established. Or we can see them as a sign that we have made a mistake and it really isn’t safe to do what we are doing. The choice is ours. We can take a step in the direction of something new, but before we have a chance to bed it down we can sabotage ourselves and move back into our comfort zone.

In that transitional place, it can help to have some external structure or butterfly 2support to help us move from the old to the new. As therapists, we do this all the time, when we act as transitional objects for our clients, supporting them in changes they may be making in their lives. Not having sufficient support in times of change can mean that we quickly let go of new behaviours and re-establish old habits, telling ourselves that there’s no point, or that it’s not a good time.

Knowing that others struggle with similar issues can provide enormous support. I have often said in these posts that making these changes alongside another who’s walking a similar road can alleviate a lot of the isolation and discomfort. So too, a strong commitment to where we want to get to and a clear sense of our goal or objective, can help us to stay on the path.

What step could you take today in your practice to support yourself in the direction you want to go? Could you make a change that might open a space for something new to emerge? If you’d like some support in getting to the next stage in your practice, perhaps I can help? You can contact me here for a free 20 minute consultation. Or if you’d like to meet with others in the same boat as you, perhaps you’d like to attend one my workshops, The Business of Therapy: Starting a Therapy Practice?

[1] Joan Sotkin is a presenter and writer on how we play out our emotional issues through our money. You can find out more about her work at prosperityplace.com