Without fail, whenever I talk to therapists about issues they have with running their practices, they will say, “I just don’t understand why I find it so hard. I know I do good work. I sit in front of my clients and I know I can help them. So why is it so hard for me to put myself out there?” And often too, they’ll add, “What is wrong with me?” or “Why can’t I do this?”
Many of us find it easier to motivate ourselves on behalf of others than on our own behalf. We find it easier to be positive and confident about our clients’ abilities and potential than about our own. We find it easier to see solutions to the problems of others than we do to our own.
There’s nothing wrong with us. It’s not some major flaw or block that needs fixing, it’s just that we are so engaged in the detail of our own lives, that we can’t see the wood for the trees. We have rehearsed the problems, the reasons, the difficulties so many times, that at some level we believe we can never get past them! We are often attached to our stories about ourselves to the extent that we believe that they are all we are.