Limiting Beliefs


One of the ways in which we can limit ourselves, whether in the context of our practice, or in life generally, is through our unconscious beliefs about money. Most people are unaware that these beliefs can be running in the background, subtly influencing how we live our lives. Therapists will probably be more aware than others of the “I’m not good enough,” one, but I wonder if any others might strike a chord for you?

1675463Other common beliefs that impact how we interact with our clients include:

Ÿ  I’m not deserving

Ÿ  It’s better to give than to receive

Ÿ  Others are more important than me

Ÿ  There is not enough to go around

Ÿ  If I have more someone else will have less

Each of these beliefs can show up in difficulties negotiating and holding boundaries with clients, in relation to money and time, and can stop us from deciding and asking for what we want.

One interesting aspect of these beliefs is the absolute nature of them. The words “always” and “never” are there, even though they’re not stated explicitly, and consequently, when faced with a situation where putting our own needs before those of others is appropriate, for example, where we feel tired and unwell and should really cancel, we feel guilty. A useful way to soften these absolute beliefs is to exaggerate them by deliberately using the “always” and “never” words.

For example, if you become aware that you are dragging your heels about taking a break from the work because you’re concerned about letting down or disrupting a client (“others are more important than me” and “I’m not deserving,”) try putting it this way “I never deserve a break” or “Others are always more important than me.” Get the idea? Put it like that and of course, it sounds daft! And helps us get things back into perspective.

Try it yourself and see how you get on.

Pocket.
Pocket.

Where else might these beliefs be playing in our lives? Take the one about giving and receiving, for example. How easy is it for you to receive gifts or help? It is the nature of our work, that we often put the feelings of our clients before our own, so the giving place is a familiar one to us. And it is lovely to give a gift or to offer help to someone who needs it. Unfortunately, with “It’s better to give than receive” playing in the background, receiving can often be quite challenging. I like to think that receiving, whether it be a gift, or help, or a compliment, it is also a gift back to the giver, when we can receive it as generously as it is given. However, you’ll know if you have been following these posts for a while, that it’s something I can struggle with! I like to think that I can do it all myself, now there’s a limiting belief!

If you’d like to explore more about how beliefs about money affect you, you might like to attend our workshop “Starting and Growing a Thriving Therapy Practice.” Click here for details. Or if you’d like to talk about any aspect of your practice, please contact me here for your free 20 minute consultation.