Getting To More Than Enough


I have spoken in previous articles about the 3 Phases of a Therapy Practice: Not Enough, Just About Enough and More Than Enough. I have also explored some of the aspects of moving from the first phase to the second. Today, I’d like to look at the work needed to move to the More Than Enough phase.

Most of my posts talk about the practicalities; things we need to DO. In fact, my website is full of ideas about what to DO. But when we’ve been stuck in the Just Enough, or Not Enough stages for some time, with no sign of a change, the actions that we might take are of far less importance than what’s going on in our minds. Because what’s happening in our minds determines whether we can see the options open to us, and whether we’re willing to put those options into action.

stop handIn one of the workshops I run, we do an exercise to identify money set points.  These set points define the limits of what we are willing to pay and receive, and are determined by our past experiences, by our values, our beliefs and paradigms. However, we are often unaware of them until we set out to change something. Then they can turn up in many ways as obstacles to taking action, as circumstances that mysteriously prevent us from doing whatever it is we are trying to achieve, as fears about what might happen if we take action, beliefs that some conditions are fixed and unchanging, and things we tell ourselves about who or what we would become. The common factor is a certainty or knowing that we are right and that these things are true.
In one part of that exercise, we look at fee levels. Try it out now for yourself:

Income Set Point Exercise
Think about the hourly or session rate you currently charge. Write it down on a piece of paper. Now, double the amount you currently charge, and write down your answer. If you were to charge that amount, how would that be for you? Really feel what comes up for you, as you imagine telling every client (existing or new) your new charge rate. Imagine telling your family, friends, colleagues, or supervisor about your new fee rate. Write down what came up for you. What feelings arise? How do you imagine others might see you, or behave towards you? Are any memories evoked?

Now, think about your hourly or session rate again. This time, divide that figure by two and write down your answer. Repeat the exercise above, imagining telling everyone you know about your new fee. Again, explore what comes up for you. What do you feel? Do you see yourself differently? Do you imagine others see you differently? Do any memories arise?

This simple exercise leads us very quickly into our set points. As we explore the feelings and thoughts that arise, we meet our resistance, such as:

  • I couldn’t charge more than… or less than…
  • No one would pay that…
  • I’d feel …(materialistic, greedy, selfish etc)
  • They’d think I was…
  • There’s no point…

And so on. We might find contradictions in there, a desire to earn more, to be more secure, to have more flexibility, and at the same time, a strong sense that it isn’t safe for some reason. Most of us have very mixed messages from our upbringing about money. These messages run in our unconscious minds like a virus in the computer, sabotaging our efforts to improve our lot. They tell us that earning money is not safe, that bad things will happen, or that we will be bad people if we earn more.

Many years ago, I incurred an unexpected tax bill. When I was starting up my therapy practice, and struggling to get past the “Not Enough” stage, I discovered a nagging concern in myself about earning more money. I was afraid I would incur another unexpected tax bill. This fear had lain dormant all the years I was in salaried employment, because my employer was responsible for deducting and remitting my tax. But once I was responsible for my own tax, the old fear came back, tucked away in a little corner of my unconscious, sabotaging all the efforts I made to expand my practice. Once I became aware of the fear, I could more easily see where it was operating in my life, and move past it.

Since then, there have been many more discoveries of how my old paradigms are getting in the way. They included the vow to stay out of trouble, which meant I was loathe to take a risk. There was also the desire to belong to the “Therapy Tribe” which meant resistance to doing things that I imagined other therapists might disapprove of. Perhaps you can relate to some of these?

In order to earn “More Than Enough” in our therapy practice, we need to believe that more than enough is both desirable and possible. Sometimes we have one without the other. We want it, but don’t believe it’s possible for us. Or we believe it can be done, but interrupt or hide our desire, often because we believe it is inappropriate. Without both components, we will find ourselves struggling where money is concerned. When both the desire and the belief are present, we can explore what gets in the way with an openness and compassion towards ourselves and a willingness to move beyond what signposthas restricted us. And then we can choose something different than we have had in the past.

If you struggle to earn enough in your practice, and would like that to change, I’d love to help. Please contact me here for a free 20 minute consultation, or to avail of my spring offer of four one hour sessions for €240.