Don’t Confuse the Map with the Territory!


Someone told me recently that I can make the issues I write about here seem easy and enjoyable, and of course, that’s how I want it to be. However, there’s a saying in therapy, “Don’t mistake the map for the territory.”Lost and Confused Signpost

I was reminded of this sharply at a workshop at the weekend when the topic under discussion was very alive in the room between the members of the group. As we tried to absorb the theory that was being presented (the map), the real live example was there in the body language of the participants. I found myself thinking that it’s all very well to understand what’s going on, and it’s another thing to live it.

I write a lot in this blog about setting up in practice, growing your practice, managing your practice, valuing yourself in your practice and so on. But it’s never far from my mind, that the information that I give here, and the things I write about are only a pale image of the ground that has to be covered to actually undertake these endeavours.

In our “Just Do It” culture, we often dismiss the vast complexity of issues that the average human being is managing in their lives at any point in time. I am astounded on a daily basis by how resilient and resourceful the human race is, and how much of our world is working well at any given time.

In order to undertake one small task, such as writing a letter, a person has to focus on what they want the letter to say, finding the address of the person to whom they’re writing, printing the letter, placing it in an envelope and stamping it. Writing that letter can be just one tiny task out of thousands that each of us does on an average day. Add into the mix a challenging personal situation, such as a relationship difficulty, financial problems or work stress and it makes me wonder where people can possibly find the head space to sort it out in any meaningful way.

As therapists, we often meet the impact of these complex and stressful lives in our therapy rooms. Our clients may be dealing with the most unimaginable horrors, addictions, a desire to commit suicide, self-harming children, or dying parents. We meet these troubles as best we can, while trying to process the impact they may have on us and decide on an appropriate response. All of this before we do our own personal work.

hillsRoadAs I mixed with a group of therapists this weekend, I was starkly aware of how, like our clients, we are often trying to work out some dark and difficult issues within ourselves, and yet we meet the world with compassion and kindness. And when we fall down, we keep getting up and trying again.

So while some of the things I suggest here may sound easy, I know they may be difficult to implement. Sometimes that’s because of where we are in our lives, and sometimes that’s because we bump into something that triggers an old fear or block. I would like to pay tribute to those who find the time and energy to read and implement some of this material. I know it takes a lot to change direction, and I know that it can be hard to do what needs to be done when there are so many other demands on you.

So don’t be too hard on yourself, take it all slowly and easily. And if I can help you with any aspect of your practice, please contact me here for an appointment or to avail of a free 20 minute consultation.