Category: Personal Development

Reviewing the Situation

I’ve written before about my belief that money is a bit of a shadow in our profession, and probably for everyone at some level. It’s a subject I have a lot of interest in, having some money related trauma in my past, and my earlier career in accountancy. I recently came face to face with a visual image of one aspect of my own money shadow which I thought I might share with you today.

shadowWhy is it important to look at our own money shadow? For the same reason that uncovering any shadow aspect of ourselves is important, because as long as it stays in the shadow, it uses energy to keep it hidden, and it is in danger of sabotaging us in some way. Read more

What do Smoking and Building a Practice Have in Common?

I started smoking when I was about 14. I didn’t much like the taste of cigarettes, but I persisted. There were lots of cigarettes about which made it easy. My parents discouraged us from smoking, but since they smoked themselves, it didn’t have much effect!

117Smoking filled a lot of needs for me. Like many teenagers, I was socially awkward, and smoking helped me to feel more grown up. I saw my two elder sisters smoking, and wanted to be like them. Most of my friends smoked, and when I smoked, I felt that I belonged in that group. There were a gang of boys that I was interested in, and they also smoked. Read more

I Don’t Want To Be Like That…

For some time when I first started practice, I was plagued by calls from an online advertising agency who wanted my business. Their approach was pushy and aggressive, persistent and intrusive. They always managed to call when I had just started to eat, or relax with a book. It drove me mad. I felt like I was being assaulted in my own home.

stop handMy upbringing asked of me that I always be polite, and respectful of what other people had to say. I can find it difficult to say “No” directly. So I was polite to these callers, and declined their services as best I could. The calls kept coming. Eventually, I found a way to manage it by asking for my number to be removed from their call list. Read more

And Now I Know…

I’ve been making mistakes recently. Silly mistakes, frustrating mistakes, mistakes I wouldn’t usually make.
Driving last week, I was thinking about the workshop I was giving on Saturday, Starting a Therapy Practice, and the challenges that starting a therapy practice presents. I was thinking about how there are really two closely interlinked sides to the process, the internal one and the external one. I’ve written about these before; about how we need to move between the internal reflective, thoughtful and feeling place, and the practical, action-oriented external one, in order to make our vision a reality.
one way Read more

EFT Video for Therapists: Hiding Things

Hiding Things!

I have noticed recently how much energy I can invest in hiding things I don’t want other people to see, or even that I don’t want to see myself. I’ve known about this tendency of mine for a long time, but recently I notice it all over the place! It’s a product of all the rules that operated when I was growing up, the ones I learned at home, at school and in church. Knowing there was a rule about it, and not wanting to break that rule, I would go the other way, and invest a whole lot of energy into being the opposite of what the rule said I shouldn’t be. And since I was a really good student, and learnt all the rules really well, I had a lot of stuff that needed hiding! Read more

Being Seen

“According to most studies, people’s number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you’re better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.” Jerry Seinfeld

This quote from Jerry Seinfeld beautifully captures the ambivalence that many therapists feel about anything to do with promoting their practice. I don’t know how many of you would prefer to be dead than speak about your businesses, but it is no understatement to say that it evokes anxiety and fear in the hearts of many. It can leave people feeling exposed and vulnerable. So, inevitably, we avoid it, or we find reasons not to do it, or become really busy with other things so growing our business gets pushed to the end of the queue. Read more

The Hidden Value of Action

There are two main schools of thought when it comes to how to do things: that we should get ourselves into alignment with what we want before we take action (or in other words, wait until we feel ready) or that we should take the action anyway. Personally, I move backwards and forwards between these two approaches. Read more

The Moving Stupids

The team of therapists I work with in Naas recently moved to new premises at the Osprey Business Centre. It’s an exciting move for us.butterfly As with any transition, there’s a period of letting go of the old and finding my feet in the new. I have decided to leave behind some of the bits and pieces that had been in my room for years. I am grateful to them for the familiarity and comfort they brought in my old workplace, but they don’t feel like they belong in my new one. I have some new chairs, some new pictures and a new plant. Read more

EFT Video- Calming the Panic Around Change

The Sky is Falling In!!

When setting up a practice for the first time, or when taking some big step in your practice that asks you to move out of your familiar zone and into something different, it is natural that strong feelings can arise.

There’s the anxiety: What is going to happen?chicken

The self-doubt: Am I going to be or do enough?

The overwhelm: Is this going to be too much for me?

The uncertainty: Will I be okay?

When this happens to me, I’m reminded of the story of Chicken Little, who ran around telling his friends that the sky was falling in. And that’s very much how it can feel, that something catastrophic is going to happen and we’re going to die, or that we’ll be rejected, or judged, or that what we’re going to do will fail. Most of the time, of course, we’re not going to die, even though it feels like that, and most of what we imagine is going to happen (usually bad) will not come to pass at all. Read more