I was a bit taken aback when a colleague suggested to me during the week that what I was really looking for was support. After all, I teach this stuff, don’t I? As a therapist, I provide support for my clients, usually emotional support, and sometimes the more practical support of looking at resourcing or problem solving. In this role, I write and teach others about the business of therapy. Need support? Moi?

As you can guess from my reaction, I can be touchy about allowing others to support me. Anyone who knows me at all, knows that I am independent, self-sufficient and like to be able to fend for myself in all situations. I hate it when there’s something I can’t do! Needing support conjures up shame for me, and that’s not a place I like to visit unless I have to.

Now in general, this independence is a very useful trait. If something needs doing, and I think I have any chance of doing it myself, I’ll have a go. I can do many things well, and a few things really, really well. I’m enthusiastic and willing. I’m what Jane Austen refers to as an ‘active, useful sort of person’[1]. As a result, I have skills and abilities galore. But there’s one thing I can’t do for myself no matter how hard I try.

I can’t see my own blind spots. And a major blind spot for me is that I get caught between those twin horns of wanting to sort things out for myself on the one hand, and being a therapist on the other.

The thing is, that as a therapist, focussed as I am on exploring the emotional and psychological aspects of clients’ lives, when something comes up for me I treat it in the same way.  I look at the emotional and psychological aspects of it, and I try to sort it out for myself. And I do this so well at times, that it DOES NOT SERVE ME. In other words, I can forget that some issues can’t be dealt with by analysis, self-reflection and processing feelings. Some issues need action and practical solutions. No amount of looking at my hunger is going to feed me. No amount of looking at the dirty dishes in the sink and asking myself what comes up for me is going get those dishes washed. And of course, I know this, as long as I’m talking about cooking the dinner and washing the dishes.

But sometimes I forget that it also applies to my business.

Sometimes I need someone else to believe in my vision when I don’t believe in it myself. Sometimes I need help to look at my practice, not at the work, not at how I’m serving my clients (my supervision looks after that), but to look at the business side of it with me. Sometimes I need someone to help me with those aspects I can’t do myself, those aspects that I CAN do but don’t like and those aspects I can do, but someone else can do so much better than me. Sometimes I need someone to remind me that I am good enough as I am (that maybe I don’t need another training course or qualification), and that I need to stop settling for less than I want. Sometimes I need someone to remind me that it’s okay to want more… more fun, more satisfaction, more money.

Sometimes I need another point of view, someone to toss around ideas with, someone to challenge me, someone to hold my hand. Sometimes I need someone to remind me that for all my self-sufficiency, sometimes I need support.

If you’d like support in your business of therapy, I may be able to help you. Please email me using the form below to set up your free 20 minute strategy session.

 

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